I have not written in many months so as I went to write my blog for today I re-read my post from June 19th and it gives me chills. As I sat and wrote that blog with such confidence I had no idea what God was doing inside my body. At the time I was 3 weeks pregnant and didn't even know it. I had such a peace about God's timing not realizing he already allowed our dream to start growing. Now that we are expecting our miracle my blog will change from talking about being infertile to becoming the mommy I have always wanted to be...Here is how our story started.
July 8th, 2012 changed Bronson and my life forever. From June to July I didn't really feel any different at all. We were still very excited about our new house that was being built and focused on spending time with family and traveling. The only thing unusual in July was that I was "late". I never let Bronson know anything and for about a week I kept waiting. After the week had come and gone with out starting I told myself I would take a test. I did not want to get Bronson's hopes up so I kept everything quiet. One Sunday afternoon, Bronson was taking a nap so I went upstairs to find one of my old pregnancy test from my fertility treatments. It was a few months old but the expiration date was 2013 so I decided I would use it. I was so nervous trying not to get my hopes up I had nothing pointing to pregnancy other than being late...I didn't feel sick, tired, sore, dizzy or any other things they tell you to look for. I put the test on the sink and looked away. And once I looked down I was in disbelief! After about 30 or more negative pregnancy test I finally had a POSITIVE! It was clear as day and I was speechless. I remember thanking God over and over. After a few minutes I came downstairs to tell Bronson. I hid the test behind my back and walked in the room to find Bronson just waking up. I tried to play it cool but I was sssooo shaky. I said "Hey babe, you think you can take a couple weeks of next year around February or March?" He responded with "Well sweetie, that's all the vacation time I get. Why do you ask?" I panicked and didn't know what to say so I squealed "Cause we will be in the hospital!!" and I pulled out the test. Bronson was in SHOCK! He couldn't believe the test and kept asking me if it was legit. I told him yes but we ended up taking 4 more test just to be sure. We had so many emotions we didn't know what to do.
The very next day I called my doctor to set up an appointment. They scheduled me to come in that Tuesday the 10th. We went in to confirm the pregnancy and to ask questions. I was nervous because I had some cramping but our Doctor reassured us that some woman just cramp through out their pregnancy. He told us to be concerned if we saw blood. We finished up our appointment by scheduling another appointment 3 weeks down the road for our first ultrasound. We left the office over the moon! I usually dread going to the OB cause of all the pregnant woman there and now I was one of them. There was nothing that could change how happy I was...or so I thought.
One of my best friends was coming from Texas on Thursday the 12th to spend 5 days with me. I was so early in my pregnancy (5 weeks) that I wasn't going to say anything to her or anyone else. We wanted to be safe and didn't want to have to tell a ton of people if something went wrong. Well, something did go wrong and she ended up finding out the day she got in town. Bronson was working that day so my mom went with me to pick Kins up from the airport. We got home at the same time as Bronson so we changed clothes and got ready to head out to dinner. I went to the bathroom before we left to find a large amount of blood. My heart stopped and I knew the worse was happening. I called Bronson up to the bathroom and started crying. He told me to get in the car and to call the doctor. I pulled myself together, walked downstairs and got outside to where my friend was and I lost it! I told her that I was 5 weeks pregnant but I was bleeding. Bronson and Kinsey led me to the car where I called the on call doctor from the office. I was crying so hard the doctor couldn't understand me. He told me it sounded like and could possibly be a miscarriage. He asked if I was in pain to which I responded no. Since I was not in pain he told me to come to the office first thing in the morning so that he could do an ultrasound and blood work to see if I was still pregnant. He told me if I started to have pain to come into the hospital. I can not tell you how many times I prayed that night!
The next morning we woke up and drove the long 50 minutes drive to the doctors office. I was sick to my stomach with nerves the whole time. Waiting in the waiting room was excruciating and then we were called back. They took Bronson and I straight back to the ultrasound room and said I'm not sure what we will find but lets see. They also kept telling us that if we were still pregnant that I was too early and we might not be able to see the baby. Well she started the ultrasound and said well there's the heart beat. HEART BEAT??!!!! What? I thought Bronson was going to faint! We were so relieved but then were worried about where the blood was coming from. The ultrasound reviled that I had a bleed in my uterus. The doctor came in and said he did not expect to see a baby and that we were very lucky. He said that the uterus bleed was actually common and should dry up, but there was a chance it could grow and cause us to lose the baby. He sent me home on bed rest and told me to come back in a week.
Long story short the baby was and has always been healthy. We went back the next week and the bleed was gone in my uterus even though I continued to bleed on and off for about two weeks. They kept a close eye on me my whole first trimester but at our last appointment (14 weeks) we were told that everything was great and we were safe to tell everybody. That was also the day we found out baby Sully is a boy!! :)
My whole first trimester I was a nervous wreck. Dealing with infertility for two years really put a negative impact on me for when I finally was pregnant, I couldn't accept it because the answer was always no you are not pregnant! I would wake up some days and think oh my goodness I am not pregnant anymore and I would have to go in to the doctors to hear the heartbeat. I thought I was going crazy but my doctor told me that this was normal for people who went through infertility and that he was more than happy to let us hear the heartbeat as often as we wanted. Now that I am in my second trimester and showing my nerves have gone down some and the doctor says they will really go away once I feel him move. I can't not wait for that!!
God has blessed Bronson and I so much that our thank yous will never be enough. I want to personally thank everyone who prayed for us and has been there for us during this time. We can now say that God has placed a miracle in me and we can't wait to meet him. Bronson and I close on and move into our house next Friday and Bronson's job is going great! There was no way in the beginning of our journey that I would say waiting two years for this job, house and baby would be worth it but IT IS! This is everything God has planned for us, not us planning it and that makes it so special!
I still have quite a few friends dealing with infertility and to respect them I will not make many Facebook announcements, with news like "I just felt the baby move!" Or "I am this many weeks a long, only this many more to go", or belly pics. I will leave that on my blog for those who want to look at it. I hope that you all will continue on this journey with us! And again thank you for your prayers they were the only thing that worked!
