Saturday, March 23, 2013

Sawyer is one month old!



One WHOLE month? Where has the time gone? It feels unreal to say that little Soy Bean is one month old today. The time has flown, which on some levels is good and others it is really sad. The good part about time flying is that healing, and hormone changes went by fast and the breast feeding NIGHTMARES problems went by fast but the sad part is that he is getting bigger and growing up too fast already. He sleeps 3 ½ to 4 ½ hours at night before wanting to eat, and goes every 3 hours during the day. He hardly ever cries, can put himself to sleep and is always very happy when he is awake. He has found his voice and likes to coo every now and then. He loves being held and will sleep even longer and better if in your arms. He has already rolled over 4 times from stomach to back and can hold his neck up pretty well.  He has outgrown some of his newborn clothes and even though they are big, he is starting to wear 0-3 month clothes. L  This month sure has been a journey and a learning experience but it has been the best month of our lives! We love you little Soy Bean! You have brought so much joy (and tiredness and emotions) to our life!

Friday, March 1, 2013

Sawyer Bennett Sullivan

It all started Monday February 18th. It was about 10 o clock that night when I started to feel my first "real" contractions. No more of those Braxton hicks. I wasn't sure how to time them at first, so instead of sitting by the clock I just kept count in my head of how I felt. One thing about me you need to know is that I hate false alarms. I did not want to be that pregnant chick that got sent home due to "false" labor. I also didn't want to go in to be told ma'am those are still Braxton hicks, labor is going to be SO much worse. So instead of waking Bronson up Monday night, I sat up and endured contractions till 5 am when they finally stopped. Bronson woke up for work and I told him how I had not slept at all and told him about the contractions. He was worried and asked if he needed to stay home with me. I told him I was ok that I was going to try to rest.

Tuesday I had plans with a friend at 9 am, so I finally went to sleep around 6:45 am and woke up at 8:30 to get ready. Let’s just say I was exhausted. Tuesday night went a little better, had contractions off and on all day and a few that night but I was able to sleep for a few hours.

Wednesday was pretty low key, mild contractions during the day but nothing major. I had a doctor’s appt the next day on Thursday so I was curious to see if these contractions had done anything to my cervix. Wednesday I slept off and on for about 6 hours and woke up anxious for my appointment.

Thursday was quite eventful. I woke up just feeling "funny". I couldn't put my finger on it but I just felt different. At my appointment my doctor checked me and said that I was a good 3 to 4 cm dilated, had a paper thin cervix and that the baby had already dropped. He told me that he could break my water right then (at 10am) and that I would have a baby by 4 or 5 that afternoon. I looked at him with big eyes and asked if he would do it. He told me no, since technically I was 37 weeks 5 days and he still thought that was a little early. I told him about Monday night and he said that if I were to have another night like that to come on in that he wouldn't send me home. He said another doctor might, but he wouldn't. Well at this news I was anxious, scared, happy, ready, nervous and so many more things. He left the room by telling me to have my bags packed. Well the rest of the day I continued to have that "funny" feeling. With what Dr. Lake told me, I just knew that I was going to have a baby that night and low and behold starting about 8:30 that night the contractions started. This time they were more intense and definitely closer together. I was still nervous about going in and being sent home though. Even though the contractions were intense and close it was nothing that had me screaming in pain or bent over. I was just more uncomfortable and had to change my position a lot. After about 3 and a half hours of contractions though I finally called the on call nurse. She was very rude and told me that it was my body if I was in labor I would know it and to just go to the hospital. She said not to call because they were all home asleep and I would know what to do. Well let’s just say that phone call intimidated me, and upset me. I for sure had no idea if I was in labor I have never had a baby. I was calling for advice and instead got chewed out. Let’s just say I lay awake all night Thursday with contractions and didn't go to sleep at all. Bronson woke up for work and again asked if he needed to stay home. I told him no go to work and I was going to rest. Yeah right on the resting part. I didn't sleep at all.

Now for Friday. Later Friday morning I had a friend come and pick me up so I wasn't at home all by myself wondering what ifs. She kept telling me the baby was coming soon and I told her no, I felt fine. I barely had contractions Friday and felt more like myself. She dropped me off later that evening once Bronson was home. Bronson and I ate dinner, started our taxes and were just taking it easy. We kept talking about how we were going to sleep in Saturday and enjoy our last few days together. We had all these plans to run errands and get things done around the house and so on. Well about 8 o clock the blasted contractions started coming back. Now remember I have not slept since Wednesday night at this point. The contractions weren't very bad and Bronson wanted a milk shake from chick-fil-a. We hop in the car and run out to get a milk shake and ice cream cone. We come home to relax only for my contractions to get closer together, but not stronger. I think I told Bronson I was having some but didn't really say anything else. About 10 we climb into bed exhausted. I was so happy to finally be getting some sleep (or so I thought) It hit about 1 am and the contractions were still coming, I was still awake and I was done! I woke Bronson up to take me to the hospital. I said “I know this isn't labor but they can at least give me some sleeping pills so we can come home and sleep." He didn't want to wake up and it took me turning on the lights and yelling lets go for him to get ready. We already had our hospital bags somewhat packed but we still had a few things to add. Since I knew I wasn't in labor and that I was coming back home I did not grab my bag or anything, I just headed for the car. Bronson said to bring it just in case, so I let out a sigh and zipped up my bag and put it in the car. We got to the hospital right at 2 am. The nurse brought us back to be monitored to check if I was in active labor. I even told her I wasn't that I just needed some sleeping pills. The nurse left me on the monitor for about an hour before she came back. Once she was back she said that she couldn't get a hold of the doctor but that she had already filled out my paper work because I was having contractions every 2 to 3 minutes and I was a good 4 cm dilated. Finally the doctor called back at 4 am and said to admit me to labor and delivery! WHAT?? Is it true, this is really happening! So off we go to labor and delivery. I get my IV and fluids going so I can get an epidural and the ball is rolling or so we thought. All the sudden around 6 am my contractions stop. Boom, just gone...the nurse came in and said that once the Doctor got there at 7 he was probably going to send me home. I panicked. I begged her not to let that happen and she just said well we will see what the doctor says....

Saturday at 7 the doctor comes in and says you aren't laboring anymore we are probably going to send you home. He said he wanted to do one more check first though. He checks me, said I was almost 5 cm, the baby was WAY low and that I was indeed going to have this baby. He said we can break your water and get you started on pitocin so that the contractions would start back. By 7:02 my water was broken and we were in to have a baby. Everything was on target, I got my epidural, I took a 45 minute nap and all our family was notified to let them know we were having the baby. Doc came in at 10 to check me and was very upset that I was still a good 4 cm no more. He asked the nurse what was going on and she said that she hadn't started my pitocin. Within minutes I could feel some strong contractions coming on. I got re checked at 12:20 pm and was told that I was a 9. I couldn't believe it. My heart started racing and I knew the time was soon. For the next 2 hours we sat and waited and wondered, what will it be like, how long will I push, what will the baby be like and so many more questions. At 2:20 the nurse came in, said I was ready to push and Sawyer was born at 2:39 pm. It was the most amazing experience I have ever had in my life and all I could do was cry. God has so richly blessed us and we cannot thank everyone enough for all the love and support yall have shown us during our infertility, pregnancy and now the birth of our most beautiful son!

Bronson and I got his name Sawyer from One Tree Hill. A show we love and were able to be a part of. We had his first name picked out before we were ever pregnant and it was one of the only boy names we had. We struggled with a middle name. We were not going to use any family names (so feelings weren’t hurt by other family members) and we didn't want a common middle name. The day we found out he was a boy we started looking up names with the meaning of "miracle" or "blessing" for what we had gone through. Only two boy options showed up which were Rayne and Bennett. Rayne meaning "blessings from above" and Bennett meaning "little blessed one" That one stole my heart right away, but those of you who know us or Bronson’s family at all know that Bennett is his mom’s maiden name. We struggled at first with are we really going to use a family name when we were so against it but the name was so powerful to us that we couldn't imagine not using it. So at 14 weeks 5 days we realized that our sons name was going to be Sawyer Bennett Sullivan and that was that!