This month has also been a month of EVERYONE announcing that they are pregnant! It literally happens about once to twice a day. We either see on facebook or hear from someone that another couple is expecting. Usually I would cry and delete the person from our friends list but instead I just move on. I haven’t figured out yet though, if I just move on because I truly am at peace about it or if it is because I am so numb that it just doesn’t sting as bad. After about the eighth pregnancy announcement I sent one of my best friends who already has a little girl a text and said “ok….I know everyone is announcing they are pregnant with their second child so I know you are next. Go ahead and tell me now so I don’t have to read it all over facebook first!” Of course she is not pregnant and would break the news to me gently if she was but I was trying to be funny but at the same time I was like seriously I just want to whine!!! How many more people can be pregnant!?! Well as of 30 minutes ago we have another one added to the list of EVEYONE thanks to facebook.
A few months ago I met a sweet, sweet girl from church who works for a big fertility clinic here in Atlanta. She heard our story and the next week she had two books for us to read. One of them is called “Moments for Couples Who Long for Children. She honestly could not have brought this book to us at a better time for two days later we had a negative pregnancy test. I think along with prayers and God’s support this book has helped me find the peace I have needed and longed for; for so long now. I would like to share a few of the “devotionals” with you guys every week or so. They are so powerful and I think it will help those of you with children to see a little into our world.
The first devotional that meant so much to me was this one:
A Sisterhood of Infertility
How many women in the Bible struggled with infertility?
·
The mother of Samson, whose son performed
amazing feats of strength and courage.
·
Elizabeth,
mother of John the Baptist, a prophet who prepared the people for Christ’s
arrival.
·
Sarah,
mother of Isaac, from whom the nation of Israel sprang.
·
Rebekah,
mother of Jacob and Esau.
·
Hannah,
mother of the godly prophet, Samuel.
·
Rachel,
mother of Joseph, who would save a nation from famine.
Each of these women, though barren for
many years, changed history forever by waiting for God’s answer. The Bible
spotlights many stories of mothers who had no hope of conception-until God
intervened. Although the Lord never reveals why they had to wait, it always
amazes me to read about the child for whom they were waiting. In the lives of these women, infertility amounted to an invitation for God to act. God used these women to accomplish great things. In fact, conception despite long infertility held such importance in God’s eyes that He often sent an angel to make the birth announcement.(
These women endured the agony of waiting and the heartache of feeling the dream of children slip through their fingers. Hannah grieved with such force that a priest who saw her praying mistakenly thought her drunk! Ultimately, God answered each of their prayers as a unique part of His plan for their lives and for the world.
God is not blind to barrenness. The Bible repeatedly proves that not only is He aware, but He is actively bringing about His plan for our lives-even when we lose all hope. When you feel the despair or hopelessness of fighting a battle that seems to have no end in sight, picture yourself surrounded by this “great cloud of witnesses.” Picture them cheering you on as you handle infertility with hope, faith, and love.
Thank you, Lord, that You surround us with stories of
hope and faithful perseverance. Help me take comfort in knowing that You
honored these women as they waited for Your answer. It gives me such hope to
know that You chose barren women to give birth to such important people in Your
plan!
And on a funny note I wanted to share a little bit of an e-mail I got today from a friend with three very young children! It put such a big smile on my face and made realize that mine and Bronson’s story is helping people even ones who have children! J I am going to change names of her kids for her privacy (I did not ask her if I could put her e mail on my blog)
I am glad that you are so honest because holding it all in sounds even more painful. I think it sucks and I want you guys to have children because I know just how amazing and inspirational your story will be for so many. I even think about you in those WWMD moments when “Cuteness# 3” is screaming and I can't figure out what he wants and “husband” has tried and Cuteness# 2 is waking and the whole house is just miserable...I step back from cursing and say to myself: I am blessed to have three children and I know that Mikhael/Bronson would treasure this moment even if it sucks just because they had a little one. Why am I bitching. I know no one wants crazy screaming babies, but given the other option of struggling to have kids or not having a kid desperately wanted I should just shut up and deal! Strangely this thought has worked to pull me back to reality and I have found another solution to help Cuteness# 3 and all has worked out. I hope that thought isn't bizarre, but I have used your struggle to help me when I struggle parenting. I know I'm weird haha but the perspective is oh so important for me to consider.
I just love my friend so much for sharing that! I never
thought MY infertility could help a friend with THREE children!
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