Don't say anything at all

Being around Kelly, after the death of her girls I have realized that in awkward situations people just don't know what to say...therefore they should say nothing at all. I have dealt with this a lot with what we are going through. This post might be a little touchy, just for the fact that some of the things I am going to write that have upset me or are upsetting me have been said by some people who are going to read this. I am the type that does not hold my tongue well, so when people "give" advice or try to encourage me, but their "advice" is actually the complete opposite of encouraging; it takes a lot for me to keep quite and to smile. So now I am going to list off some of the top "worst advice" tips we have been given. Even though some of them are true, and I believe them also I just DO NOT need to hear it another time. From ANYBODY. I will write the "advice" part first and then in italics I will write my thoughts and what I wish I could tell people. Instead I usually just smile and say thank you or say nothing at all. I hope that whoever reads this understands that sometimes your words of "encouragement" do more damage than uplifting and to start thinking before you speak. And honestly if you have never been in the situation someone is in, I would encourage you to simple say "I am sorry and I will be praying for you". End of story! And if you have been or are going through the same situation as someone then you will never have a comment like any of the below.

• You are still young (oh really? Well thanks for telling me my age. I didn't realize it, and do you realize it takes TWO to have a baby and my husband is not my age!)
• You just need to stop thinking about it (SAY WHAT? You are telling me to stop thinking about something that is built into me as a Christian woman. A natural want in life? JUST STOP THINKING ABOUT IT? Ok, Ill get right on that when you stop thinking period!)
• You might be 30 and still trying to have your first child (Are you CRAZY!? We have plenty more options and there is no way on God's green earth that we are going 7 more years with out a child!!!!!)
• You just need to adopt a child. I hear once you adopt you will become pregnant, but don't get a baby because then you would have two the same age. (Ok seriously! You are off your freaking rocker. There is no way we are going to spend 10 to 12 grand to adopt someone who is not an infant and we sure aren't going to adopt "just because we will then become pregnant")
• You are too tense, you need to start drinking (Never drank in my life before, not gonna start now. Its a moral thing. NOT GONNA DO IT!)
  
• Well you haven't been trying that long (Well actually to us this is very long, and to each there own. Some people can try 5-10 years "on their own" won't be us. As I mentioned above, there are plenty of other options and we will not go 5-10 more years without a child)
• Just enjoy your time together without kids bothering you (Ok, so this is one of the ones that I ALREADY know and I don't need people telling me this when they find out we can't have children)
• If you can't get pregnant, then it is God telling you you shouldn't parents ($%@# you!)
• You need to stop trying, then it will happen (seriously?)
• It's just not the right time. (Another one I KNOW, just don't need other people telling us over and over)
• You may never have your own children ( Why thank you friend for the encouragement. Remind me to come to you next time I am down and need some uplifting!)
  

Lately I have cried a lot, but today was an angry day and I wanted to get it out. I still love each and every one of you. I just also want you to be aware of how it feels to be told these things.